So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize