People in love make me want to vomit
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
