Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
