Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
