He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
