I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
