Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just invented taco cereal.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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