Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
