jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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