From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize