my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
