Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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