on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
