I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
