I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize