I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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