there was a trapeze. enough said
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
