4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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