got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
