Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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