I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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