I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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