I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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