He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
