idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He has the fingertips of a God
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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