she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
