I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
