are you so shy because you have an std?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
