He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
