Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
