just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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