Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
