fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
