Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
