Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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