just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
