Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
