shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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