Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
