And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
