I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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