Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
