That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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