Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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