Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
