Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
