toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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