she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize