As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Randomize
