so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
