Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize