Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
