Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
