we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
