yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
