she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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