I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
