Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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