5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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