Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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