I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
