i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i already hear my dad disowning me
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
