Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
