i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
